(I initially wrote this letter for my nephew who just received his college acceptance, but perhaps it might be helpful to you and yours.)

If you’ve applied to college, then it’s that time of year when acceptances and rejections begin rolling in and you’re left with some major decisions regarding where to go and how to pay for it.

Though I can big up Morehouse College and the experiences and friendships that it provided across my life, as a high school junior this wasn’t the case. At the time, I lacked the foresight. In my world, everyone was either going to community colleges (CUNY), state colleges (SUNY), and a handful going to Ivy’s (lucky bastards…or at least I thought this at the time). Real talk, I didn’t know what Morehouse was or even an HBCU (cue the shock, awe, and shade).

Now you might be reading this and asking the question:

‘Well, did you go on any college tours?”

Nope.

“Did you speak to any admissions officers?”

Nope.

“Did you do any online research?”

Online what?…….starting to get the idea, now?

I was applying to schools blindly. Honestly, I mostly looked at schools that friends with similar grades were applying to, like party schools, schools in warm climates, and schools that had nice looking brochures — I was 17. After you take the PSAT/SAT, you get flooded with pretty brochures from colleges showing off their lush green campuses, smiling students, and fancy buildings. I was trying to be out of Brooklyn for a bit so this all sounded good to me.

When I’d first learned about the common application, you would’ve thought Christmas came early. ‘You mean to tell me that all I gotta do is fill out this ONE college application and it goes to all of these schools on this list? Yes, please!’ With the common app being a one-stop shop in many ways, I had a few other schools left to apply to that were not listed on the common app.

In my senior year of high school, I was set on heading to Philly because it was close enough to New York to head back on the weekend to get fed, do laundry, and see friends but far enough where folks likely wouldn’t have been stopping by unannounced. No shade to folks stopping by, but I wanted my space.

I had 2 schools on deck — Temple and Drexel. Drexel was offering me a scholarship but I had to visit the school to meet them as part of the process. I could totally see it like it was yesterday. My aunt and I jumped into our Ford Taurus and headed down I-95 to Philly.

While on the road, I remember daydreaming that by the end of that day, I was going to be walking out of the building with a bag full of money in one hand, a pretty girl in the other, and a dorm room that would make Rick Ross jealous–my imagination was wild, y’all. At the end of the day I had none of that shit.

We arrived on campus early so we took some time to visit the dorms and check the place out a bit. The first thing I remember about the dorms was the smell– a mix of socks, Cheetos, weed, and stuffiness (if stuffiness has a smell). It was terrible. Second thing I remember was that my aunt and I were the only chocolate chips walking around the place. I was wondering to myself, “Where are all the Black folks?” I was beginning to sense that what I was imagining about college based on brochures and television wasn’t quite adding up to the reality of the situation. After hanging around for about 10 minutes, we ended up bouncing since I wanted to arrive to my interview on time.

I arrived for my interview at Drexel, my neatly ironed shirt now slightly wrinkled from the 90 minute drive. An older White male in a tweed jacket with elbow squares interviewed me. He had a professorial air about him. After exchanging a few pleasantries, we began talking turkey. When I learned how much they were offering me to attend school there, my jaw may have actually dropped. I was being offered 1/10 of what I expected. Emotionally, it was equivalent to expecting a PS5 and instead, somebody handing me a pack of Uno cards. I felt raw and full of resentment. I remember looking at the scholarship award letter when I got home and chucking it in the trash. As I look back, I had been presumptuous, entitled, and uninformed. My dreams of the huge dorm room and the hot girl were shattered and I was left with trying to make real decisions while life was coming at me fast.

For any younger readers checking out this post, I don’t want this outcome for y’all. Don’t do what I did. I repeat, do NOT do what I did. To spare you the headache and heartache that I endured, below I have shared a few thoughts on how you might want to approach the college preparation process:

Name Your Priorities

After reading that coveted acceptance letter, your college or university may have included a list of things to do to help you get started preparing for the journey. Such a list would involve contacting your school’s housing and residence office for room and board assignments so you know where you will live during freshman year.

“Cherish these nights, cherish these people. Life is a movie, but there’ll never be a sequel.” — Nicki Minaj

Lodging

It’s common for schools to assign rooms to new students or hold lotteries for students to choose where they would like to live, although the first choice may not be available if there’s a high demand. Also research off-campus housing options in case you are unable to obtain on-campus housing. Get to know the city in which you’re attending school, because it’s important to understand the traffic patterns, banking institutions, public transportation options, the restaurant and grocery scenes, and so on. Figure out where that barber and hair/nail salon is because you’ll need them come Friday night.

Nothing compares to dorm life. It’s worth trying out for at least a year or two, if possible. Dear old Morehouse!

Meal Plans

Figure out how you’re gonna eat. Ramen noodles and grilled cheese isn’t a plan. Learn about your campus meal plan and how to pay for it through your room and board costs.

Textbooks

How do you find textbooks at the campus bookstore? Can you and some classmates split the cost on some books by rotating? Books can cost a grip.

Parking

If you have a whip, make sure it’s welcome on campus because student parking is not a given. Research the parking situation if you are allowed to bring your vehicle to campus because there are additional costs associated with that.

“Everyday is a new opportunity to reach that goal.” — Rick Ross

Contacting Faculty and Student Groups

Building relationships is foundational to networking, so it’s crucial to understand your professors, their backgrounds, and any student organizations you are interested in joining. A well-rounded college freshman knows their faculty members and communicates regularly outside of class time for deeper understanding of coursework or if any issues arise with assignments. Aside from getting to know your roommate, your campus’s website and social media accounts of student groups will help you get acquainted with what’s offered to make your experience fun and memorable; not to mention practice networking skills early on. During new student orientation week, student organizations will have tables and presentations for freshmen to learn more and sign up to get involved.

Plotting to take over the world..….with friends.

Social Media

Please be mindful about what you post as well as your account privacy settings. First impressions are everything and you wanna build your reputation without prejudice, so don’t post anything that you’re afraid others might find–this is a general best practice.

Time Management and Organization Structure

As a newly accepted student, you’ll need to have, or develop, a good grasp on time management because choosing classes and balancing priorities like homework, student organizations or jobs outside of school might be an initial challenge. I worked 4 jobs while in college: as a chauffeur at Hartsfield-Jackson airport, work-study in the psychology department, busboy at Mick’s restaurant, and moving furniture.

College presents more challenges to time management, so it’s important to wisely choose classes that will help you obtain your necessary credits, experience in your major, and allow time for extracurricular activities on or off campus — if you so choose. Only the student knows the type of load they can handle, so piling too much on the plate can make the first year hard to manage. Prioritize classes around your social time, which should be secondary.

“I don’t dance now, I make money moves.” — Cardi B

Financial Aid

Financial aid is huge but that’s a topic for a whole other post, as you weigh your college-going options. Last month, I shared some thoughts on emerging student loan options via income share agreements (ISAs). Here are some additional resources you can tap into as you explore which financial aid options are best for you:

To be considered for federal financial aid, fill out the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA), which is used by colleges and universities to determine eligibility for grants and scholarships:

Tips, tools, and articles to help you decide how to pay for college
Learn what’s new with the process of applying for financial aid

Okay, so that was probably a lot but all worth keeping on your radar as you have conversations with trusted family, friends, and professionals on some major decisions. These are the things that I wish I had spent more time researching, so I am paying it forward to you.

To my folks who have been through the crucible of college, what are some things you wish you knew before attending? Any resources you’d like to share?

So, You’ve Gotten Into College. Now What?